So well hello visitors to my blog yeah not sure how long I'm going to keep it up tbh it was just a thought about putting all my stuff from the wonderful Pseudscorner in the same place right and some shoes and non-cricket thoughts from time to time.
Some of the people on Pseudscorner are quite old like 40 and even more but they are a laugh and can argue about sport till the world comes to an end lol and the link is at the top of the page.
Blogs are good yeah they make you feel you've like achieved even when all you've done is spend the whole day wandering around Google Images when you should have been working :)) Some blogs are like diaries yeah but I've always thought diaries are a bit sad yeah unless you know you're going to be famous and change the world so everyone will want to read them when you're like 85. So don't expect daily updates and stuff right cos like I have a life. Only I don't feel like compelled to put it all online lol.
To get one thing clear though yeah me and Alisha are not Essex Girls. For any foreign people reading this is not important but for British people it matters because we are like Karl's dad says a class-ridden society. So Essex Girls are chavs right and boys make dirty jokes about them like 'what does an Essex Girl use for protection during sex? a bus shelter' and they get totally hammered every weekend and are found by the police with their knickers showing. Or missing altogether lol.
So yes, me and Alisha are from Essex yeah though in fact Alisha is almost from Hertfordshire, but we have like a brain or two between us and though we like a drink from time to time and maybe a little something else we are cool about it yeah because nothing ruins your looks like booze and drugs and as Alisha says if you were tempted to get off your face right just think two words: Amy Winehouse. Like tragic tattoos and a really really bad husband choice and the tattoos will be sooo painful to remove.
Friday, 21 December 2007
Friday, 14 December 2007
Cricket Christmas Cards
If you like this a lot which I do you can go to this site: http://www.liverpoolmuseums.org.uk/sitetools/postcards/chooseCard.aspx?coll=54 and send it to your friends as an e-card.
Or if perhaps you are Sri Lankan and very patriotic, you can go here: http://www.myasia.net/ecards/cards.asp?xg=562&xno=6 and send e-cards of Sri Lankan cricketers - like this one:
which is Lasith Malinga doing his aeroplane impression that he does when he takes a wicket (pretty often then).
The Importance of Spelling
December 18th 2007 - start of the 3rd Test Match England v Sri Lanka
So names yeah. Me and Alisha have problems about names. Like she’s really called Alicia right but she always puts Alisha cos that’s how it’s spoken yeah, teachers and people always said Alissya which pisses her off. And I was Chantelle till there was this totally stupid girl on Big Brother yeah who was a celeb for five minutes called Chantelle, so I changed myself to Chanelle and then fuckin’ell there was another dumb girl on BB and she was Chanelle so I can’t decide now. Actually my real name isn’t either of those but I’m not telling you.
So I like sympathise with the amazing Sri Lankan bowler Muttiah Muralitharan yeah, when he says like the spelling of his name that we all use in English isn’t quite correct right but it’s a bit late now cos he’s like the world’s leading wicket-taking spin bowler yeah and he’s in all the record books with a th and now it seems he would have rather had a d.
So I looked up the spelling (what did you older people do before there was Wikipedia, just not know stuff?) and I found in Tamil they have this letter. It looks like this yeah and sounds like ‘either th or dh’:
த்
Pretty, isn’t it? Is it just me or does that look a bit like a cricket ball above part of the stumps yeah and a wiggly line showing the ball went all over the place and fooled everyone? Dead appropriate lol.
But also actually if you know Asian people yeah quite a lot of them say d’s and th’s in quite a same sort of way so it is obviously like an intercultural language type thing, and people sometimes put dh in English to spell that sound yeah.
So perhaps to be really really right he should be Muralidharan yeah but he’s probably doomed to have a th forever now. Don’t expect he minds too much though yeah, after all we’re just foreigners putting it in our own funny writing as far as he’s concerned lol. As long as he keeps taking the wickets of our batsmen yeah he’ll be happy which he does with like supreme ease :(
The Sri Lankans are sooo cool yeah, I kind of sort of love Lasith Malinga with his crazy hair and his great smile yeah but don’t tell Karl right, I had to stop talking about Thierry Henry cos he got like edgy. Kumar Sangakkara is playing just amazing stuff yeah like every schoolboy cricket fan dreams of playing right and Mahela Jayawardene is like the Cool Captain In Charge and both those two are pretty neat like hotness-wise.
In our team I am also of course always fond of Alistair Cook who is tall dark handsome and from Essex what could be better. But it is difficult to keep being fond of Alistair at the moment yeah because he is not playing at like his sparkling best and has been out for some not exactly star quality scores right. OK he did well last innings but like even nice brown eyes don’t make up for an average of 36.75.
As you can see I’ve come a long way with my cricket knowledge yeah me and www.cricinfo.com are old friends now and I still get emails sometimes from the cute Aussie boy I met in the W Indies and he always like tests me on my cricket cos Aussies like even compete with their email friends it’s in their blood lol. But I do like cricket now yeah even though Alisha thinks I have severe psychological problems and could use some immediate help.
Sadly the Sri Lankans are pretty much playing better than us all round right and they just got beaten by the Aussies before. So even though we are supposed to be second in the world blimey could have fooled me yeah that must make the Aussies top of the world (no change there yawn) and the Sri Lankans second and us well like yeah somewhere else.
It is one of those mysterious Brit sport things right. Cos hey, the idea of cricket is to make more runs than the other side yeah and our batsmen just don’t make a lot of runs so like someone is missing the point. As I said to Karl right when he was really upset about us going out of Euro 2008, I was like, well did nobody explain to them that the best way to do it was to like score more goals than the opposition? Duh.
As for poor Freddie Flintoff yeah even though when we met him in the W Indies back in the day right he was hammered and drivelling on about his kids all the time he was a nice bloke really yeah and I am so sorry about his ankle. I had a problem like that after I fell over in some stunning Manolo-type shoes right and my ankle went, I can’t wear any heels higher than three inches now yeah which is a total pain and totally cramps my style :(
So am I still with Karl you ask well yeah he ain’t Thierry lol but he is very sweet and like reliable. The other useful thing about Karl is he is the anorak of all time and loves to blog yeah, so if you want to have a serious conversation about topical matters of importance like the new Prada handbag right you can just tell him there’s a big row about the Premier League on a Guardian blog yeah and he’ll grab the Apple Powerbook and be quiet for hours :))
Sports blogs are a great service to the women of the world yeah, cos if men disappear off down the pub yeah they never come back till later and are well pissed and boring while if they’re sitting at the laptop they are still to hand and you can call them away from the screen any time if you shout loud enough lol.
Titi and the Hors-Jeu Rule
June 24th 2007 - Arsenal announces its star player is going to Barcelona
OMG Thierry’s leaving, Alisha and I were like speechless. Well not for long lol. But it’s like end of a thing yeah, whatsit, era. I used to love him sooo much like I had pictures of him all over my room and even though I’m older now it’s like he belongs to us what is he doing going away??? Well of course making about four million squid a year and trying to win big shiny trophies is what he’s doing but all the same. You see this is why I used to say to Karl the football anorak, yeah, I was like don’t care so much about it Karl cos football will break your heart yeah and here is the proof.
Cos this is my theory right, that apart from having too much importance in the universe yeah, football is like it says in poetry a cruel mistress. All these blokes are so in love with their team yeah and they give it all this loyalty and stuff and does it care? And like mathematically yeah most football fans are guaranteed to be miserable most of the time right cos only a few teams win everything and everybody else like suffers. So they’re like pouring all this emotion down the drain really, but as Alisha says yeah if they didn’t have football men would never speak to each other at all right so I suppose then the world would like grind to a halt.
Anyway we were down the pub yeah with Alisha’s boyfriend Gavin and some French bloke he’s picked up with. Now you might remember Gavin is Mr Knows About Sport yeah, on account of that’s all they did at the Academy of Snot or whatever his posh school was called. And the frog guy seemed to be like pretty much the same. And they were arguing about some offside decision or other and like ignoring us.
Now there is a thing where Alisha and me disagree right, which is this. Alisha’s really smart yeah, all her family’s the same they can put two and two together make five and sell it back to you for seven if you know what I mean. But when there’s blokes about she just like puts her brain away in her bag for later yeah. And I don’t see the point of that right cos who wants to be around a bloke who thinks you’re stupid? Well, her obviously lol. So when I tried to join in the conversation she kicked me a bit yeah but I carried on and then the frog guy was like “Ah, so you understand ze offside rule Chanelle?” in a really patronising voice and I’m like “Yeah”. Cos what’s so difficult yeah, Karl explained it to me, if you’re like involved in any serious action you’ve got to have more than two of the other blokes between you and the goal so like is that like complex?
So I said what is the French for offside anyway and he said what sounded like Roger. So I thought typical frog yeah they can’t even think up their own words for stuff but as Alisha said later yeah cos she likes the French cos they had a house there she said yeah but we use their words like boutique and crème caramel so I had to admit she was right cos a world without boutiques would be a sad place lol.
When we got back from the pub I was well pissed off with Gav and Froggo treating me like a moron yeah so I called Karl the football anorak and said like “Karl I’m soooo depressed about TH14 leaving yeah can we talk about it?” And he ran round to my place quicker than old Thierry himself so we are again an item and all’s well that, you know, whatever.
OMG Thierry’s leaving, Alisha and I were like speechless. Well not for long lol. But it’s like end of a thing yeah, whatsit, era. I used to love him sooo much like I had pictures of him all over my room and even though I’m older now it’s like he belongs to us what is he doing going away??? Well of course making about four million squid a year and trying to win big shiny trophies is what he’s doing but all the same. You see this is why I used to say to Karl the football anorak, yeah, I was like don’t care so much about it Karl cos football will break your heart yeah and here is the proof.
Cos this is my theory right, that apart from having too much importance in the universe yeah, football is like it says in poetry a cruel mistress. All these blokes are so in love with their team yeah and they give it all this loyalty and stuff and does it care? And like mathematically yeah most football fans are guaranteed to be miserable most of the time right cos only a few teams win everything and everybody else like suffers. So they’re like pouring all this emotion down the drain really, but as Alisha says yeah if they didn’t have football men would never speak to each other at all right so I suppose then the world would like grind to a halt.
Anyway we were down the pub yeah with Alisha’s boyfriend Gavin and some French bloke he’s picked up with. Now you might remember Gavin is Mr Knows About Sport yeah, on account of that’s all they did at the Academy of Snot or whatever his posh school was called. And the frog guy seemed to be like pretty much the same. And they were arguing about some offside decision or other and like ignoring us.
Now there is a thing where Alisha and me disagree right, which is this. Alisha’s really smart yeah, all her family’s the same they can put two and two together make five and sell it back to you for seven if you know what I mean. But when there’s blokes about she just like puts her brain away in her bag for later yeah. And I don’t see the point of that right cos who wants to be around a bloke who thinks you’re stupid? Well, her obviously lol. So when I tried to join in the conversation she kicked me a bit yeah but I carried on and then the frog guy was like “Ah, so you understand ze offside rule Chanelle?” in a really patronising voice and I’m like “Yeah”. Cos what’s so difficult yeah, Karl explained it to me, if you’re like involved in any serious action you’ve got to have more than two of the other blokes between you and the goal so like is that like complex?
So I said what is the French for offside anyway and he said what sounded like Roger. So I thought typical frog yeah they can’t even think up their own words for stuff but as Alisha said later yeah cos she likes the French cos they had a house there she said yeah but we use their words like boutique and crème caramel so I had to admit she was right cos a world without boutiques would be a sad place lol.
When we got back from the pub I was well pissed off with Gav and Froggo treating me like a moron yeah so I called Karl the football anorak and said like “Karl I’m soooo depressed about TH14 leaving yeah can we talk about it?” And he ran round to my place quicker than old Thierry himself so we are again an item and all’s well that, you know, whatever.
Football
April 6th 2007
I first got to be friends with Alisha cos of Arsene Wenger. We were at school right and we had this teacher Mr Fielding and he was talking about football yeah and he said Arsene Wenger believes in training and discipline because he’s an alsatian. So next time old Arsene was on TV I had a look and the day after yeah I said to Mr Fielding I thought alsatian was wrong he looks more like a collie to me. And Mr Fielding did his like I-went-to-university laugh and said oh no, Chanelle, I meant he comes from the Alsace region of France.
I was like omigod and I went really red yeah but then Alisha right they used to have a house in France so she knows stuff, she said no wonder Chanelle misunderstood you Mister Fielding isn’t it supposed to be pronounced alsassyann? And old Fielding took his like I’m-popular-with-the-kids smile off his face and snapped into default teacher grumpy mode and said he was using the Anglican version thank you very much Alisha and stomped off.
So that’s why I’m friends with her because that’s what you want right, a friend who sticks up for you when you’ve embarrassed yourself instead of taking photos of you on their phone and showing them around. Well I know that’s what we did to the England cricket boys but they got arsey with us so that’s different.
If I know anything about any football team right which isn’t much yeah it would be Arsenal because when I was about fifteen I was like so so so in love with Thierry Henry I was like, Thierry will never be mine so book me that cell in the convent now. I still think he’s pretty cute to be honest but I try not to have crushes on footballers these days cos I’m supposed to be growing up and stuff right, I mean I can say I wouldn’t kick Owen Hargreaves out of bed but I’m not like pining cos there’s no future in it.
I don’t mind football but sometimes I wish it wasn’t like totally the most important thing on the planet yeah, I mean if you see a bunch of blokes shouting at each other it’s either football or politics right and 99 time out of 100 it’s football, but that’s the way it is yeah so you have to like survive in a football-obsessed world. So you have to have a few remarks up your sleeve right like, Arsenal have never really replaced Patrick Vieira have they, and with any luck you can throw that one into the conversation yeah and then the blokes won’t stop talking for about a week and you can have another margarita and get on with your life.
I have a question about football right, which is this: when foreign players come over here right and they’re like, I ‘ad to get used to ze English game because eet ees verry fast and verry physical, yeah, do they really mean that they think all our footballers know how to do is run up and down the pitch a lot and kick the shit out of each other, but the money’s good so they’re staying?
I put this question to Karl who was this boy I used to go out with yeah he was sweet but he was like the football anorak of all anoraks it could get embarrassing. And Karl looked dead hurt and offended and said it’s a matter of style and ethos right and I said well either they kick the shit out of each other or they don’t and excuse me, I watch TV. So then he decided I didn’t like football yeah and it was like this major problem in our relationship so you see what I mean yeah football has too much influence in the universe.
I first got to be friends with Alisha cos of Arsene Wenger. We were at school right and we had this teacher Mr Fielding and he was talking about football yeah and he said Arsene Wenger believes in training and discipline because he’s an alsatian. So next time old Arsene was on TV I had a look and the day after yeah I said to Mr Fielding I thought alsatian was wrong he looks more like a collie to me. And Mr Fielding did his like I-went-to-university laugh and said oh no, Chanelle, I meant he comes from the Alsace region of France.
I was like omigod and I went really red yeah but then Alisha right they used to have a house in France so she knows stuff, she said no wonder Chanelle misunderstood you Mister Fielding isn’t it supposed to be pronounced alsassyann? And old Fielding took his like I’m-popular-with-the-kids smile off his face and snapped into default teacher grumpy mode and said he was using the Anglican version thank you very much Alisha and stomped off.
So that’s why I’m friends with her because that’s what you want right, a friend who sticks up for you when you’ve embarrassed yourself instead of taking photos of you on their phone and showing them around. Well I know that’s what we did to the England cricket boys but they got arsey with us so that’s different.
If I know anything about any football team right which isn’t much yeah it would be Arsenal because when I was about fifteen I was like so so so in love with Thierry Henry I was like, Thierry will never be mine so book me that cell in the convent now. I still think he’s pretty cute to be honest but I try not to have crushes on footballers these days cos I’m supposed to be growing up and stuff right, I mean I can say I wouldn’t kick Owen Hargreaves out of bed but I’m not like pining cos there’s no future in it.
I don’t mind football but sometimes I wish it wasn’t like totally the most important thing on the planet yeah, I mean if you see a bunch of blokes shouting at each other it’s either football or politics right and 99 time out of 100 it’s football, but that’s the way it is yeah so you have to like survive in a football-obsessed world. So you have to have a few remarks up your sleeve right like, Arsenal have never really replaced Patrick Vieira have they, and with any luck you can throw that one into the conversation yeah and then the blokes won’t stop talking for about a week and you can have another margarita and get on with your life.
I have a question about football right, which is this: when foreign players come over here right and they’re like, I ‘ad to get used to ze English game because eet ees verry fast and verry physical, yeah, do they really mean that they think all our footballers know how to do is run up and down the pitch a lot and kick the shit out of each other, but the money’s good so they’re staying?
I put this question to Karl who was this boy I used to go out with yeah he was sweet but he was like the football anorak of all anoraks it could get embarrassing. And Karl looked dead hurt and offended and said it’s a matter of style and ethos right and I said well either they kick the shit out of each other or they don’t and excuse me, I watch TV. So then he decided I didn’t like football yeah and it was like this major problem in our relationship so you see what I mean yeah football has too much influence in the universe.
Microcosm of Life
This is the second one I wrote on March 31st 2007 and you'll see that my cricket education gets going here:)
We’re in Guyana now right and we have to go to the cricket because Gavin insists and he’s paying right and Alisha wants to keep him happy cos she wants them to get married which is sensible yeah cos her horse Darcy is very expensive to keep up.
It’s England v Ireland yeah though quite a lot of the Irish are Australians and one of our blokes is Irish and both sides have got a South African so like that’s cricket for you. Gavin tries explaining to us about the Super Eights right and after about ten minutes of two points from the first round and who’s seeded from what yeah I lose the will to live so I’m like, what you’re telling me is the ones that lose go out yeah and in the end somebody wins. Duh. So at first me and Alisha are talking about shoes yeah while Gavin’s making like expert comments on the game to this seriously wanky bloke he’s made friends with.
Our Irish one gets out straightaway so like he doesn’t have to battle his divided loyalties for long lol. Then our captain gets out too and Gavin looks for a moment like he’s going to cry right so Alisha and I keep quiet cos you have to respect people’s pain. And we start to think, suppose England lose this right what is going to happen to like national self-esteem yeah and will we still be able to tell Irish jokes?
So hopes are pinned on KP yeah who’s like our king of bling and does lots of adverts. Gavin’s wanky mate who is some kind of media person right with stupid glasses and a bit of a fondness for the old nose candy if you know what I mean is going on about establishing momentum right but it seems to me yeah, looks like it would help if our lot could just play cricket a bit better. Call me naïve lol.
After a bit it seems that English people are able to breathe again yeah but no, then KP is out and here comes Freddie right doing like, I’m big and tough and professional yeah, funny last time we saw him he was propping up the bar in Saint Lucia burbling on about how beautiful his kids are yawn yawn. He’s supposed to be off the sauce now right after being exposed in the papers by certain people so you could say Alisha and me have done a service to English cricket. He does OK yeah but now the whole thing gets to be quite frankly pretty boring right but I’m sort of beginning to see that it’s all about hanging in there yeah, and then Collingwood who is like a gritty northerner right plays very well in gritty northerner stylee and we end up not too bad.
So in the break I’m chatting to this quite cute Aussie guy from the row behind us yeah and his view is that cricket is like a microcosm of life right. So I’m like, you mean it goes on and on and on and then in the end you give up and die. And he says no it’s like a test of character so I’m like, what, to play or to watch? Lol. But he tells me about Shane Warne who makes strong batsmen cry yeah and then he says it’s all about courage in adversity and mental domination right and one false move and the tide of a match can turn and I can see that like Gavin’s keen on cricket but this guy is like religious.
So all through the second half right I stay there and watch the microcosm of life yeah while Alisha goes to sleep and Gavin and Media Prat have one of those endless bloke conversations which sound friendly but are all scoring points off each other yeah you know the kind. But mental domination right well I’d say hard to spot yeah all I can really see is like slow grinding kind of grind and we almost don’t win but in the end we do.
So it seems there’s like a mystery in cricket somewhere right which has a deep effect on people yeah but so far I haven’t like had this revealed to me by the England team. The cute Aussie guy says this is quite natural and I have to see Australia play yeah and then I’ll understand everything.
We’re in Guyana now right and we have to go to the cricket because Gavin insists and he’s paying right and Alisha wants to keep him happy cos she wants them to get married which is sensible yeah cos her horse Darcy is very expensive to keep up.
It’s England v Ireland yeah though quite a lot of the Irish are Australians and one of our blokes is Irish and both sides have got a South African so like that’s cricket for you. Gavin tries explaining to us about the Super Eights right and after about ten minutes of two points from the first round and who’s seeded from what yeah I lose the will to live so I’m like, what you’re telling me is the ones that lose go out yeah and in the end somebody wins. Duh. So at first me and Alisha are talking about shoes yeah while Gavin’s making like expert comments on the game to this seriously wanky bloke he’s made friends with.
Our Irish one gets out straightaway so like he doesn’t have to battle his divided loyalties for long lol. Then our captain gets out too and Gavin looks for a moment like he’s going to cry right so Alisha and I keep quiet cos you have to respect people’s pain. And we start to think, suppose England lose this right what is going to happen to like national self-esteem yeah and will we still be able to tell Irish jokes?
So hopes are pinned on KP yeah who’s like our king of bling and does lots of adverts. Gavin’s wanky mate who is some kind of media person right with stupid glasses and a bit of a fondness for the old nose candy if you know what I mean is going on about establishing momentum right but it seems to me yeah, looks like it would help if our lot could just play cricket a bit better. Call me naïve lol.
After a bit it seems that English people are able to breathe again yeah but no, then KP is out and here comes Freddie right doing like, I’m big and tough and professional yeah, funny last time we saw him he was propping up the bar in Saint Lucia burbling on about how beautiful his kids are yawn yawn. He’s supposed to be off the sauce now right after being exposed in the papers by certain people so you could say Alisha and me have done a service to English cricket. He does OK yeah but now the whole thing gets to be quite frankly pretty boring right but I’m sort of beginning to see that it’s all about hanging in there yeah, and then Collingwood who is like a gritty northerner right plays very well in gritty northerner stylee and we end up not too bad.
So in the break I’m chatting to this quite cute Aussie guy from the row behind us yeah and his view is that cricket is like a microcosm of life right. So I’m like, you mean it goes on and on and on and then in the end you give up and die. And he says no it’s like a test of character so I’m like, what, to play or to watch? Lol. But he tells me about Shane Warne who makes strong batsmen cry yeah and then he says it’s all about courage in adversity and mental domination right and one false move and the tide of a match can turn and I can see that like Gavin’s keen on cricket but this guy is like religious.
So all through the second half right I stay there and watch the microcosm of life yeah while Alisha goes to sleep and Gavin and Media Prat have one of those endless bloke conversations which sound friendly but are all scoring points off each other yeah you know the kind. But mental domination right well I’d say hard to spot yeah all I can really see is like slow grinding kind of grind and we almost don’t win but in the end we do.
So it seems there’s like a mystery in cricket somewhere right which has a deep effect on people yeah but so far I haven’t like had this revealed to me by the England team. The cute Aussie guy says this is quite natural and I have to see Australia play yeah and then I’ll understand everything.
My First Cricketing Experience
This was the first thing I wrote about sport yeah, on March 20th 2007 while we were at the Cricket World Cup in the West Indies. I come over as a bit of a chav in this one which is not what I'm like really but like the rum was flowing free lol.
So me and my friend Alisha right, we’re in Saint Lucia cos her boyfriend Gavin wanted to see the cricket and he’s got shedloads of money yeah, so he paid for us but it’s dead boring cos he’s off on all these other islands watching these cricket matches and they’re really long they go on for fifty thingies each side.
So me and Alisha right, we went to this club by ourselves and we had a few rum and cokes on Gavin’s platinum card lol. And then these blokes came in and Alisha said to me they’re England cricketers and I was like, they look like a bunch of wankers to me omigod look at that one’s hair. And then this tall one came in and even I knew it was Freddie Flintoff cos I saw him on TV on that bus when he was really pissed that time.
So they saw we didn’t have any blokes with us and they bought us lots of drinks and we all had a laugh yeah, and then we got photos of us with them on our phones to send home to say look we’re with these like famous sports blokes.
They were well hammered right, I said don’t you have like a game to play tomorrow or something but they were just like, bovvered, and Freddie said he could play cricket with a hangover like some Sober bloke, I said to Alisha I didn’t reckon he knew what sober was and she nearly wet herself. He said he could drink Shane Warne under the table and I thought Shane Warne was the one that won The X Factor but he got sort of pissed off with me about that.
So then they started asking us questions about cricket, like do we know what an over is, and we were like duh we just came here for the laugh and the beach action lol. Omigod they went all snotty like it was really really important. The Kevin one who was a coach started trying to teach us all this cricket stuff and Alisha said save your breath right Gavin’s tried for six months and it’s still a load of wank to me.
Well then they all walked off and Freddie went out on the beach and we were like, well fuck you then arseholes, no need to be so up yourselves, so we phoned the News of the World yeah and sent them the pictures and they promised to pay us fifty grand but Gavin was mad at us when he got back cos we didn’t sign a contract he said we’ll never see any money.
I think famous blokes are all the same, when they meet real ordinary girls like us they can’t hack it, we’re too like genuine for them.
Now our pictures are all over the News of the World and all our friends are texting us we’re famous too. Only Gav was right cos they haven’t paid us. And they’re all writing stuff about Freddie’s in trouble for being legless like big surprise. Well, bovvered. I hate cricket.
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